Reflections

I consider myself a pretty introspective, self-aware person. And so as I enter a new phase of life I find myself reflecting and evaluating...and I have identified a desire to be needed. This is partly what draws me to babies (and in a way dogs....)--they need me. Quite literally babies are completely helpless and rely on the people in their lives to help them survive. One of my primary love languages is acts of service. I like to do things for people, but sometimes it might be to promote the feeling of being needed (my husband has accused me of making them dependent on me). Recently as I lay awake in the middle of the night thinking over some situations that have occurred over the last few months I realized that my hurt feelings came (partly) from a feeling of not being needed. And I want to be needed.


And then I heard God's still small voice say, "Nichole, I don't need you.... But I want you."


That was transformational. It may seem simple or obvious, but I realized that there is something far more beautiful about being wanted as opposed to needed. Do I want my husband and children to stick around because they NEED me, out of a sense of duty from which they can't break free? Well yes, if it came right down to it I would want them to act on a sense of duty, a sense of commitment that binds us together. But how much more beautiful and fun our relationship will be if it is based on a mutual "want" for each other. That is one of the things that makes my marriage so beautiful--we WANT to be together--all the time!

Sometimes my children wonder why God didn't just make everybody be good or make the whole world love Him. And I try and explain that it is much better to be loved out of a desire to love than like robots who have to love you. We do need God. But how beautiful it is when we come to Him not just because we have to, but because we WANT to. And it is reciprocated. He doesn't need us. He is God. But He wants us.

15 The Lord has taken away your punishment,
he has turned back your enemy.
The Lord, the King of Israel, is with you;
never again will you fear any harm.
16 On that day
they will say to Jerusalem,
“Do not fear, Zion;
do not let your hands hang limp.
17 The Lord your God is with you,
the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3

Not only does He save us because we (like helpless babies)need Him for our very survival, but He takes GREAT DELIGHT in us; He REJOICES over us with singing! He wants us!!
May you feel wanted today by the Creator God of the universe who delights in you!